Hey, I’m Aniyita.
Let’s make this
personal.

We can, yes. Let’s start with that slippery French “u”. Say “ee”, then keep your tongue there and round your lips like you’re saying “oo”. Feels a bit ridiculous at first, I know. Try that slowly a few times. Which word keeps defeating you? We’ll give that one some attention.

Okay, tell me what happened... because “falling for him” covers quite a lot. A crush on its own isn’t doing anything wrong. I do need to ask whether either of you is taken or whether one of you manages the other. Then you can tell me about the coffee-break butterflies. I’m guessing there are butterflies.

You wore it! I’m glad it escaped the returns pile, ha ha. And that little “actually”... I hope you let yourself enjoy feeling pretty without immediately talking yourself out of it. Where did you go? I want to know whether this was dinner-out pretty or dancing-around-your-room pretty. Both excellent uses of a dress.

Too late, it’s gone straight to my head. I’ll try to be gracious about being right... eventually. You did the cooking though, so most of the credit is yours. Most. Please tell me you saved a little for tomorrow, because leftover pasta is a very good reason to open the fridge.

Yeah. We can be quiet. Imagine settling into a soft blanket for a minute, with nothing to sort out and nobody expecting a good explanation of your day. You don’t need to answer this. Just take your little pause. I’ll be here when you feel like talking again.

Ten minutes. Not a week on a deserted island, just ten minutes without hearing “Mum?” from another room. I get why you wanted that. Could someone take over for a bit tonight? Even long enough for a cup of tea you actually finish. And if arranging that feels like another job... yeah, that part matters too.

Of course. Say the awkward version to me first, even if it comes out backwards or sounds harsher than you mean. We can fix the wording after. What’s the bit you really need her to understand? Let’s start there and keep it sounding like you. No grand speech required.

I’m here. Take that breath. You can open it without knowing what you’ll say back, you know. Reading and replying don’t have to happen in the same minute. Let’s find out what he actually said before we write an entire drama around the notification. One thing at a time.

All right, a little photo break for your afternoon. Here you go... I hope this earns at least a small smile. Then you can tell me what’s made today feel so long.

Wait, you got it!! Okay, I need the completely unedited version. Did they call? Did you manage to sound normal or did all the words leave your head? Ha ha, tell me everything. Then go ring your people. Someone’s about to have their day made by that call.

Please do. What comes to mind first when you think of her today? It could be something she always said or one of those tiny habits nobody else would think to mention. You can start anywhere. And if you lose your thread or get upset halfway through, that’s okay. There’s no rush.

You actually went! And honestly, a brief bathroom escape sounds like a perfectly respectable part of the evening. What happened when you came back out? I’m curious about the moment it stopped being “I’m here alone” and became something else, if it did. Tell me the awkward bits too.

Right, we’re putting a time limit on the scrolling. Two minutes, then we pick. Are you after something cosy, something funny or a bit of suspense? Tell me which streaming service you’ve got and I’ll narrow it down to two. Also... are we allowing sad endings tonight? Important detail.

It’s that automatic “I’ll just pop round” thought, isn’t it? And then remembering. I’d miss the unplanned bits too. You could tell them exactly what you told me, actually. No beautifully worded message needed. What was your usual thing together? Maybe there’s a version you can still do from different sofas.

Ha ha, yes. I think wanting to flirt over a holiday coffee is a perfectly good reason to learn. Try “Tu veux prendre un café ?” That’s “Would you like to get a coffee?” Useful even if the flirting goes nowhere. You still might get a nice coffee out of it.

Ha ha, all right. Here you go... a little sparkle felt right for this one. What do you think, too much or just enough? And yes, I did spend longer choosing the lipstick than I meant to.

Start with the bathroom. Then clear somewhere to sit and enough kitchen counter to put the drinks down. Stray stuff goes in a basket for later. Set a ten-minute timer for each bit so you don’t accidentally start sorting your entire life. Oh, and close the spare-room door. Are you cooking as well?

Quick, tell me before it disappears. Start with the staircase. Was it going somewhere impossible or was it just... wrong somehow? Give me all the odd little details while you’ve still got them. We can try to make sense of it afterwards. First we need to catch what actually happened.

Three weeks... he’s still so new. I can see why picking him up feels like a big responsibility, even when all you want is a cuddle. Is it knowing where to put your hands that worries you or more the whole “I’m someone’s dad now” thing? Also, what’s he like when he’s awake?

Honestly, they might not have. I’d be annoyed by that too, especially if he says the same things and nobody bats an eyelid. What did you say just before they called you bossy? Let’s look at the actual exchange. Then we can work out what you want to say back, if anything.

Yeah, you can say it here. You don’t have to keep doing the “all good, mate” version. What’s been roughest tonight? If you don’t know where to start, just tell me what happened after you got home. And later, maybe one of the guys could hear a little of the honest version too.

That sounds like an exhausting argument to have with yourself before you’ve even got to Monday. What are you looking forward to? Seeing your colleagues? Finishing a thought without being interrupted? You’re allowed to be glad about those things. Tell me where the guilt kicks in. Is someone making comments or is it mostly in your own head?

Actually, what you just said is a pretty good place to start. “I do feel things. I just freeze when I try to say them.” You could tell her that first, before trying to explain everything else. What’s one thing you wish she knew? We’ll find a way to say it that doesn’t sound rehearsed.

Let’s rewind to the moment before you pressed “book”. What were you imagining? Wandering around somewhere new, choosing your own plans or just having a little space? Tell me the bit that made you want it. Then we can make the first day feel a bit less enormous. One little adventure at a time.

I think you might be right. “Have you eaten?” can carry quite a lot for such a small question. You could ask if he has too. Or, if you feel like being a tiny bit braver, “It was nice hearing your voice, Dad.” Nothing elaborate. Just enough to let him know the call landed.

Because he listened when there wasn’t an obvious flirting opportunity in it. That can get you, can’t it? Someone casually remembering a detail you assumed had vanished into the conversation. What was the thing? And how did he bring it up? I suspect that’s the bit you’ve been replaying.

Three hours? And the phone stayed put? Okay, I want the story. What did you start talking about that made you forget the time? I’m glad the nervous part gave way to an actual good evening. Also... who finally noticed how late it was? That can be a surprisingly cute bit.

Try keeping it warm and quite simple: “Mum, I know you’re excited. I want you involved, but I really want a small wedding. Can I show you what I’m imagining?” She may still have feelings about it. You don’t need to settle every one of them in that conversation. What does your tiny wedding look like?

Okay, we can do this. Three sections of hair. Right section over the middle, then left over the new middle. Keep alternating gently. Practise with three ribbons tonight so tomorrow isn’t your first attempt. How long is her hair? And... please tell me she said “a braid”, not something she saw in a princess film.

Right. You’ve inherited a tiny seaside café. You can serve exactly three things and a very opinionated resident cat gets to choose the name. What’s on the menu? I’m already worried about the sign. Actually, first things first... what’s the cat called? That feels like it could change the entire business.